Headline bingo: this one’s a winner


Now I am a discerning news reader, but there are times when my self-control slips, and the mouse-wielding hand is guided by the eyes to the crass and vulgar. I am glad to report that some headline writer in the ToI family has come up with the winning formula, capturing centuries of human breeding and social selection. Combine the desi male tendency for lecherousness with desi aspirations, and you have a winning combination. The only other word that could have finished out the headline was “BMW”. It’s all there. I’m telling you!

The winner of the screaming headline of the year goes to “Munni & Sheila seize sizzle IIMA classroom“. Need I say more?

I had excited visions of said ladies actually taking over one of my classrooms (CR-1 for Section A) for an impromptu performance. I can imagine Yogi’s bathroom songs would go well with the performance, as will the desktop drumming that everyone in India is an expert at. Now to add to the mix, one could imagine that lecherous male hooting would be replaced by orderly tempo shouts and announcements of random quizzes, as behooves IIMA’s students and their future glory. Rapturous hoots of “Munni ka tempo high hai” are met with equal gusto from the Sheila camp’s “Sheila ki le li, zig zag zig zag”, (WIMWI folks- I KNOW why it’s “ki”). Wait, remember the Prof who took his shoes and watch off for every class? We could have his shoes stolen by the class clown, and somehow the class could be dancing around a pair of marketing prof shoes to the beat of his stolen watch! Yes, yes, yes! Sheila ji, Munni ji, please bring it on! The sizzle, the steak.

Puerile fantasies aside, the actual article was interesting, but not quite Sheila/Munni material. Why the world needs to know that there’s a class on contemporary Indian films…I don’t know. But, hey!, the diversion was worth the time.

Link here. Nothing exciting in the article, really, but the headline was a winner.

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About Gaurav Rastogi
Gaurav Rastogi is a writer and a business-exec living in the San Francisco bay area. His other blog is a personal philosophy blog at http://rustus.blogspot.com

4 Responses to Headline bingo: this one’s a winner

  1. I understand your excitement and your self-control slipping etc etc, but, um, the headline actually reads “Munni and Sheila sizzle IIMA-Classroom” Which, IMHO, doesn’t make grammatical sense–sizzle is an intransitive verb here. Just saying.
    Not that one expects good grammar or good sense from the ToI.

  2. You’re right Niru…sizzle, not “seize”. That’s another point in ToI’s “headline bingo”. Add more sex, more sizzle, and more aspirational tickers to the headline. It would have got them more hits if they said “Sheila, Munni sizzle (sic) IIMA in a BMW with an Aussie degree”. That would trip all the sensors for ToI’s un-discerning audience. 😉

    • Can you somehow work panipuri into that line? My desi sensors would be all aflutter.

  3. OK, since you asked…”Sheila, Munni sizzle (sic) IIM-A with Australian Vodka in Pani-puri, arrive in BMW”!

    There, let me step back and enjoy this for a while…ummm…a work of art.

    PS: Changed a couple of lines in the fantasy sequence to add more WIMWI flavor and boyhood desperation.

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